The One You Love

How do you tell the one you love that you love them when they know it and say it back to you.

I love a girl with all of my heart that I am not afraid to say that to the world at all. I know I have been absent from posting on here and other sites I work for but I have been in another world that I don't want to ever leave at all. I love this girl so much I envision a future with her by my side going though the good and bad times. As a matter of fact I shown her just how much I love her by the simple things I send her and little letters I send her too. I have changed in many ways thanks to her that I can never repay her for that like you can't imagine. She saved me from myself when I was going though some hard times and I was there for her to when she was going though hard times and things were getting sticky too.

That is why in June 2009 I am heading out of state to see her and see that smile and those eyes for the first time. Pictures are nice but it's nothing compared to seeing someone in person. I am making this trip to see her and tell her just how she has made me feel and all the things I say I really mean no bullshit, no lies, just hard honest truth. Something about saying it in person means more then just writing it in a e-mail or saying it on the phone. I think once she sees me and hears my words that she will know just how much I love her and never want to let her go no matter what. I am going there to look around and hangout with her and have a blasting good time doing stuff. I really do see a future with her like you can't imagine, I have never felt like this before in my life to tell you the truth. She makes me feel so grand and great when we talk that I never want to hangup the phone even when I am super tired.

I am not afraid to say her name either, her name is Victoria. She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life no joke on that nor no line either. I think she is just the prettiest thing ever, both inside and out. She is so loving and caring and willing to put others over self like she has done for her family and friends. She just makes me feel this rush of emotions that I can't describe, but all of them make me feel like the most important person in the world. She has a way that no matter what my day is going she can make it all feel better and make my worries go away.

I love her for her, her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her personally, her randomness, her attitude, her love in music, FUCK I love everything about her honestly I do and I mean it.


So if you are reading this Victoria just know that I James loves you and will always love you. Just know I would never do anything to hurt you or make you upset like others have done to you.


I Love you Victoria and nothing will change that ever.

Be My Valentine

I love Valentine's Day and hate it all the same too. I spend year after year of it alone here, not by choice but by design it would seem.

See fellow readers of this never looked at blog of mine, long time ago I knew a girl her name was "Destiny". Destiny was a girl I thought like me for me and wanted to be with me. Turned out she never like nor loved me and ended up hurting me in a way I will never forget no matter what I try to do. I did everything right with her and treated her as nice as you could imagine possible, some how that was not good enough for her never would be to her. I would give her little notes, flowers, and random stuff that made me think about her when I saw it. To her it never really matter I could tell and she just played along spinning a web to trap me in. When she finally sprung her trap I feel hard and thought I would never be the same again. From once seeing Love, Beauty, and Hope I only saw Betrayal, heartache, and Lies. From being a fun loving and happy go lucky guy I turned into a bitter, mean and violent person to know. I became cold and angry for a long time I lived like that.

But one day that all changed, I met a girl that seemed to have changed all that for me. She is a wonderful and caring person that saw me for me and didn't laugh nor run away. She gave me a new refound hope in myself and belief that I should not give up and just get back up and in it. It was a great day when I met her and it slowly turned into a great thing for me. Just her talking to me could lift me up when I feel down, just her mere words or voice can make me forget all my troubles and bring me back to life. She brings me hope and care along with her little ways that I just love.

Even knowing I can't be there on this Valentine's Day with her, I am there in spirit with her. Even knowing there is distance between us, it still feels like we are so close on this day.

I love you girl with all my heart, and nothing will ever change that ever.

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Now playing: Journey - Don't Stop Believin'
via FoxyTunes