My Mirror Image

The Hardest thing to write about is you at the end of the day

Every morning I have to wake up and look at my face in the mirror and the reflection back at me is one I can’t stand anymore. Not for the person I have become on the inside no it’s vein part of me that looks at my outer shell and goes “That's Not Right”. When I was created or birthed which ever you choose to believe I was handicapped from early on for not being ok looking to being down right hideous, for speaking my mind when I shouldn’t have, being laughed at for almost all of my life.

My reflection mocks me and is a consist reminder of the sad fact I will be nothing in due time, my reflection lets me know no matter how many people I help, no matter what I do it’s all in the end not going to be worth it.

Being born in the month of June did not help me, because now that I am a Gemini my two sides always clash and do battle. One side says I have do a lot and will continue to and too just hold in there that’s its always darkest before light, the other side says look you are nothing and will always be nothing no matter what you do or who you help. These two sides of me clash over and over so much so I believe both of them to be true and the fact is I would have never had these thoughts if a girl would have not screwed me over years ago. Until that day I would have never second guessed myself or been so deep into my thoughts but now that has all changed me.
The harshest critic of you is you at the end of the day.

I hate my reflection in the mirror and want these voices to stop; I am a better person now than ever but my reflection tells me different like a permanent scar on my soul she left that I can’t remove no matter what I do. During the day I can silent that voice because of work I do and who I have to look after, but at night when it’s me and my thoughts they always find their way into my mind.

At the end of the day my soul is locked in an eternal struggle between what I know and my reflection in the mirror.



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